Railway Navigator Gifts

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

The Fast Lane.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

"International trade"

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

Oceanographer

'C'mon, it's only up to your knees!'

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

'The train due to arrive at platform 2 will now arrive at platform 19.'

- 'Have you a map of London Underground?' - 'Try the basement!'

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

"I admire the way you avoided that radar trap."

"I said I've travelled all over the world. I never said I got out of the box."

Easy Course

"Welcome to the Department of Delayed Gratification. Take a number."

All Roads Lead To Rome.

Witch launching for aircraft carrier.

The unexpected end of the journey.

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Traffic slowing to a crawl then speeding up for no apparent reason next 5 miles.

'Psssst... cop on other side of hill.'

"Highway or bunny trail, highway or bunny trail?"

'Isn't this the paper that everybody reads?'

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

Buying Airplanes (New or Used)

River Puzzle.

Toll Booths Ahead, Radar Detection Area, Construction Ahead, No Rest Stops for 200 Miles, Severe Potholes Ahead.

'I get all my stock tips from loud users of cell phones.'

'Earl's Court? - Board the 47 outside this station, this will take you to Liverpool St...'

Watch Out For The Idiot Behind The Guy In Front Of You.