Railway Chaos Enthusiasts Gifts

'Damn! - I was going to cause chaos and mayhem and disarray on the railway but someone's beaten me to it!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Oh, just chuck it in a corner somewhere...'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Sushi Train Spotters

HS2

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

L.A. Transfer

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

HS2 time bomb...

A train's dining car is a diner.

The Train to Nowhere

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Warning! Signs damaged by careless drivers or vandals will NOT be replaced!'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

What Holds the Subway Together?

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

Pound sign on rail tracks.

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

Billy's clean room.

Trainspotting.

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

Going on Holiday with Kids

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"