Rail Travel Escapist Gifts

Old Moore's Timetable

Holiday time.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"I’ve got to take this. It’s someone who isn’t obsessed with summer fun."

'See you in two weeks!'

'Have you been waiting long?'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

The next fast train has gone.

Run from the hills!

Fairy tale

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

'Sorry, but I had trouble with train story-problems in math, when I was a kid too.'

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Relativity explained; the woman on the train will always appear more attractive than the woman on the platform.

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

'We deeply regret to have to inform you that no train will be late today. You even have the chance to get a clean seat. Please accept our apologies. Thank you for your understanding.'

'You knew what I was when you married me.'

American Idle

Train back from Glyndebourne.

Man standing at a railway station.

Excess Baggage: At times the cheapest ticket deals leave a lot to be desired.

Help! I'm trapped on this Island! No wait, there's the the tour bus...

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

'The Railway Juggernaut of 1845'

Stuart's grand plan to bring the good-time steel drum vibe of the Caribbean to Belle Haven, Connecticut, hits its first snag...

'The leaves are falling, Henry ... are we going to the beach this year?'

"We seem to get just the one channel."

'Will passengers please step back from the platform edge NOW.'

Balloon Head.

"I'm glad summer break is almost here. He can run on low power mode for only so long."

"Stay out of the deep end. I'm not coming in after you."