Public Transport Escapist Gifts

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Packed like sardines

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Is Driving Doomed?

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'See you in two weeks!'

"No more swinging from tree to tree! Now I take the bus and I even get a senior discount!"

Pile of top secret files on a train. Man saying 'Is that seat free'

The last Passenger Pigeon

'He's been back packing around India and doesn't he want everyone to know it.'

Cinderella waits at bus stop.

Latest Railway Marvel.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

The next fast train has gone.

HS2

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

Fairy tale

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

Subway Thrillers

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"About time they did something about the rats!"