Commuter Escapist Gifts

Daydreaming to other people's music on the train,

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'See you in two weeks!'

'I beat the 5 o'clock rush... I leave work at noon!'

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Fairy tale

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

"Physically I'm in New York, Emotionally. . .I'm somewhere in the south of Florida."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

"You should always stretch before engaging in strenuous activity."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

Building in the countryside

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"Ever seen anything like it? No high rise condos to obstruct the view, no acres of parking lots, no traffic. What a waste."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

Go Back to New York

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

Next Train - Can you all come back tomorrow?

Why do you hate blockbuster movies? Why do you hate documentaries? I don't. I love spending two hours watching the very life I'm trying to escape. Oooh, fun, bittersweet insights into the complexities of living in modern life. Document this! My camera lens isn't wide enough.

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"To be perfectly frank, I much prefer the solitude of the desert to the busy city life..."

"I'm a Big Apple kinda guy, stuck in the Garden State."

City Hammock

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).