Radioactivity Rascal Pillows

Is this what they call inherent safety?

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Home Maintenance - Decorating.

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'Ruddy european labelling legislation'

How Platypuses Are Born

Let me warn you, toots. Celebrity is like radioactivity: you start with a big bang, then comes years with a half-life of slow decay.

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"You do realize this may affect my review of you on Yelp?"

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

'... and the house prices are still going up.'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

Radioactive area

'I'm afraid your 'giggle-pin's' gone on your 'laugh-shaft'!'

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

Weather forecasters tell lies!

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his and he caught yours."

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"