Radio Tuner Expert Gifts

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

I've always been slower than computers...

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'I'm Bored'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Feelings towards radios #2 Picket signs with pictures of radios on them

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Randi Rhodes

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

The herd of hearing.

'Michelle, this is your brother, Paul, do you copy? Over...Paul to Michelle, do you read me?...'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

'Wait a minute! - Since when do COMPUTERS pause for station identification?'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Cleveland. What's YOUR problem?! My deadbeat brother-in-law won't leave. What do I do? For six months, he's been sleeping on my couch, watching my tv, and drinking my Dr. Pepper. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Stalin liberated Eastern Europe and then didn't leave for 44 years. You're going to need a massive arms race, a containment strategy, and Sylvester Stallone. Now he's using my toothbrush.

It's the Dr. Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. You're on, Boise. What's your problem?! I don

'Stay tuned for a surprising new health study regarding...'

"Next time the killer comes on your radio do not say 'COPY THAT'."

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

Doctor to mom about kid: 'Hey - 104.5? Your kid's temperature happens to be my favorite radio station!'

"That's not my political opinion. That's just stuff I hear on the radio."

The reception here is awful!

John Peel

Keep your remarks varied but within context...like listening to Pandora.

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "Brexit." "It was historic. I'm old enough to remember before the European Union existed. I witnessed its creation. But now it's fallen apart and well then what I witnessed wasn't all that historic after all." "Way to make it all about you." "It's like it was all just one big tease."

This is Dr. Sadie. What's your question, caller? How can I tell if my cold is really bronchitis? Stop yer sniveling. In my day, a body would hope it was bronchitis. It gave you a chance to prove your grit! Nothing like a touch of burning pain, wheezing, and crackling in the chest to separate the women from the girls. What kind of doctor are you, again?

"It's the Ask Sadie advice hour. 'Shmernie' in Vermont, you're on. What's your problem?" "How do I know when it's time to give up? I've tried so hard to warn people about how they're getting screwed over, but they keep vot-- I mean, hanging out with the screwer-overers." "Give it up, 'Shmernie!' It's over!" "This reminds me of the time great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother Cohen's advice show answered a parchment from 'S

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! The price of oil is plummeting. So why're all my stocks doing so badly? I own 500 shares of Big-Box-Store Inc., 300 of Useless-Crudco, and 400 of Mindless-Consumerism Conglomerated. With gas prices so low, people have a lot more money to blow on consumer goods, so the market should be booming! I don't get it! First of all, oil is falling because there's too much supply. And having too much gas is never a good thing. Wait ... this isn't "Money Talk"?