Radiation Rebels Gifts

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

'Teenagers!'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"I really got used to working from home."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.

"What do you consider your most attractive feature and what are you doing about it?"

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

FDA Ingredients

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

'So... cutting my funding, eh? Well, I've got a pair of mutant fists that say otherwise!'

"I blame the regulators for giving predatory pricing a bad name."

'You, of all people, violating the speed limit!'

Brain versus Religion.

Federally Guidelined

BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

"He shows enormous potential."

"Sorry, lady, we gotta quit for the day. Our radio broke."

Cluster Catastrophe

"Lab animals the world over will be grateful for what you're about to do."

"See this thingamabob attached to your whatchamacallit? That’s the doohickey I was afraid of."

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

We've looked at this data from every angle.I guess it's time for someone to actually read it.

'How about some beef stew? -- the wusses from the Health Department made us discontinue the chili.'

Scientists chained to the floor

'I'm running into lots of trouble with my ambition to be a shock jock.'

"We just don't get involved with things like double-blind tests and peer review. We're just a little mom-and-pop laboratory."