Racket Runner Pillows

'You've been charged with racketeering. How do you plead?'

Pete Sampras

Ratminton

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

The Off-Season

I love tennis

'Big advantage!!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'My old man always used to say we eventually get the face we deserve. I wish I'd listened to him!'

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"We ran into a marathon."

'Let's practice lobs again.'

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

Fishing for rats.

Exercise rat race

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'It's an old badminton injury.'

GP pay award wheel.

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'