Racket Runner T-Shirts

'You've been charged with racketeering. How do you plead?'

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Ratminton

Danger Slow Sand.

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

The Off-Season

I love tennis

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'Big advantage!!'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'My old man always used to say we eventually get the face we deserve. I wish I'd listened to him!'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"We ran into a marathon."

'Let's practice lobs again.'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'It's an old badminton injury.'

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

Fishing for rats.

Exercise rat race

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

GP pay award wheel.

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'