Racket Wielder Pillows

"Anyone for tennis?"

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

Tennis Racket

Dominika Cibulková

"He has the makings of a campion, Mrs. Simpson."

Pete Sampras

Monica Seles

Ratminton

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'It just came out. It handles forehands, backhands and overheads all in one motion.'

The Off-Season

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'Big advantage!!'

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

Bill Tilden

'It's an old badminton injury.'

'Let's practice lobs again.'

"Now if he'll just swallow one more paddle we'll be set."

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'for what we are about to receive...'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."

Lawyers Playing Tennis

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

"Yes! I got one over! Woo-hoo!"

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'