Racket Master Gifts

"Apparently they're both going for back to back wins."

Monica Seles

Pete Sampras

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Circus

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

Updated History: "Pokerhantas and John Smith." I'll call you bet and raise ten bucks.

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

Competitive tic-tac-toe

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'What did I tell you about getting caught on the ropes?'

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Big advantage!!'

"My therapist said next time he tries to put his head in my mouth I've to politely refuse"

Matador.

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'I just want to be taken seriously as an artist.'

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

"This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath!"

"Fifi's husband was in the audience!"

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

"Strategically speaking, your best move is to let him win."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

"I wish we could go back to waltzes - this boogie woogie is killing me."

'It's an old badminton injury.'