Racing Predictor Gifts

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Psychic diving competition.

Groundhog. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, Ernie. We can't expect an early spring if your umbrella is the only reason he's not seeing his shadow.

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'The only New Year's resolution he's still got intact is not to watch the England cricket team in Australia on television.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"I'll be right back."

A self-filling prophecy.

"He's new here."

Graduate

'I see things starting to break your way. Your computer will break down. Your car will break down...'

"Of course I'm good at predicting the future. That's why I invested in a desktop."

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

It's a boy.

Psychic Advisor's Hotline. Now Hiring. Tell me, where do you see yourself in five years?

A Fortune-teller clicking on her mouse attached to her crystal ball.

"Firstly I'd like to welcome our new board member, Madame Zelda...she'll be managing the futures market."

'Everyone left, and it's only the second inning. We should have asked them who's going to win.'

'How much do you weigh?'

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

"I'll go out on a limb and say time will tell."

Psychic Night: Predict the Score, Get In Free.

'And this is Fred, our Senior Strategic Planner. He sees around corners most of us don't even know are there!'

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

Old Moore's Timetable

'On Tuesdays, I bowl.'

"And here's the office of Mister Sloane, the company's new futurist."

"Sorry, but my WiFi is down."

'By carefully anticipating the difficult challenges of tomorrow, I know just when to take my vacation.'

The Epsom Derby - Boxing Sideshow