Race Organizer's Nightmare Gifts

Finish Line

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Sloth 10K.

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

Smile

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

First past the post.

'What a control freak!'

'That Brown bears watching!'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

A tessellation of running figures.

Loser's Podium.

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"We ran into a marathon."

"You said to hire a face painter and I did! Bill is a mortician!"

Work Life Balance Paperwork

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

'I plucked myself. It reduces drag in the water.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

With Running Lanes/Without Running Lanes

"I'm sorry, dear, but you knew I was a bureaucrat when you married me."

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

Formula One eco helmet

How to Tell when You're Asking for Directions from a NASCAR Fan: 'Make a left, then hang a left, take another left followed by a left...'

Bus rally tour

'Honestly! You'd do anything to win the Community Balloon Race, wouldn't you?'

'Best let them know there's a couple of loose horses at the fourth!'

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

Cycling Race

Corporate Gym