Race Organizer Gifts

"You're only winning because it's a wheelbarrow race."

With Running Lanes/Without Running Lanes

'What do you mean you didn't win the race?'

Three Legged Race

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Lateral Thinking - Not Out & Not In trays.

Extra Long-jump

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

'What a control freak!'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.