Race Day Socialite Gifts

The Royal Enclosure!

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

First past the post.

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Bradley Wiggins

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Live water cooler.

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

"I thought we were soul mates, too, so imagine my surprise to find that my actual soul mate is Nicole in accounting."

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

The Xmas Party is not the place to number-crunch with the boss.

'Hi, I'm will from Marketing. Want to be friends?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

Just for laughs, let's throw a few folks off course.

Formula One eco helmet

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

Barrier around water cooler

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

"The robot you sold me is cheaper and more precise than my human workers, but I can't discuss the football with it and it doesn't fetch my coffee!"