Quotable Kid Pillows

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

My First Camera

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Jr. cloning kit

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy.' You in?"

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"It's an Eyesaur."

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'All good things must come to an end.'

Philosopher trading cards.

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

Abstract expressionist face painting.

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

"Timmy, your dog looks just like he does in your drawings."

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

Playing dustbins

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

G.P.S. For the Home