Kid With Opinions Pillows

"My generosity is reserved for drivers who aren't on their cell phones."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

Jr. cloning kit

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"It's an Eyesaur."

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

"It's a mobile."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

I think he knows something that we don't know about the uranium molecule.

'Dad, what is peace?'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

'Max really likes those genetic markers.'

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'Let's see, here we have the first results from of the brain scanner...'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

G.P.S. For the Home

E Pluribus Nada

"She's always been a quick learner."

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'I told you this would make a lousy birthday present.'

'Mom, I no longer need a night light.'

Ride Bucky/Fly U.F.O.

'You're going to have to stay confined to the bunkhouse for a week.'

'Why are you putting laundry soap into the proton anti-matter warp drive engine?'

'You're not creating another thing till you've tidied your room!'

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"