Quota Crusher Gifts

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'I've never met a salesperson I didn't like... except, of course, for you people.'

'As our new Sales Associate, you'll be on straight commission plus unemployment.'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

Pin-atas

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Let me stop you right there. Look, you're paid to keep the competition out of our territory. I don't need to hear all the grizzly details."

'I got one this small.'

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

'Making a profit was a lot easier before so many countries abandoned socialism and started competing!'

'Well, we made it.'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

The Short, Brutal Existence Of Pinata Candy.

Time-Off Coupons

'Did you try rebooting?'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

"It's make it or break it time. All in favor of breaking it?"

'It's O.K., he's on full commission.'

Hitting a Brick Wall.

Nose Spray.

Anders Iniesta

"As part of the bank's form reduction policy, you wont' have to fill out any additional forms. Your loan application has not been approved."

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

"Can you give me about 5 minutes? I'm about to beat this level!"

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

"I just gave her 100 Candy Crush lives so she won't be seeing anybody for a while."

STRIP Hambone: Unpaid electric bill

"As a "quota" it leaves a great deal to be desired.