Quirky Upbringing Fan Gifts

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'Check out the old dude.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Football Crazy strip six

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'I like the litter box...but the pool has gotta go !'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Mouse with a cat cake.

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"