Quirky Upbringing Fan T-Shirts

"Courtney: Raised by hamsters"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Check out the old dude.'

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Football Crazy strip six

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

The Pencil and Sharpener

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

Hot cross buns

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

Crash Test Dummy Blues

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

Mouse with a cat cake.

"What if the cat stuck in the tree has a gun? Is that an emergency?"

An Extraordinary Pointer