Quirky Lifestyle Fan T-Shirts

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Hats and Food

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Punk Reindeer

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

"He's deliciously vintage."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Bernice Mountain Dog

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"I believe in consistent branding."

Strange man has a nose monocle.

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"Derek has re-invented himself."

Magic mushroom

OCCASIONALLY HOMO ERECTUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO USE TOOLS AND WEAPONS, CROSSED PATHS WITH HOMO SPIFICUS, THE FIRST SPECIES TO WEAR SPATS AND DRINK COCKTAILS>

Fruits and vegetables

Hats

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

"If you buy all three, we throw in the fourth boot for free."