Quirky Trend Followers Pillows

"And it has pockets!"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Hair Crop Circle

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"That shirt is so last year."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Inflating Boobs.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."