Quirky Trend Followers T-Shirts

"And it has pockets!"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Hair Crop Circle

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Inflating Boobs.

"That shirt is so last year."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

Giraffe Selfie

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"I'm not sure cuteness counts as a core competency? but hey if it gets hits, you're on."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."