Quirky Trend Follower Pillows

"Wait! So this is really A THING?"

'It's the latest thing. I got him done at www.snuffed and stuffed.com!'

'You lied to me- I'm not a lemming am I?'

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Hair Crop Circle

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Weird things I do because of the internet

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"That shirt is so last year."

Inflating Boobs.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Giraffe Selfie

"What are you doing?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."