Quirky Translator T-Shirts

'It's an extremely rare dialect, but I think the rough translation is: We want stuffing instead of potatoes'.'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Great British Eccentrics.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

Bookstore, the Politically Incorrect Guide to You.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Introducing Piza Island.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

Fall on a desert island

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Public footpath on a desert island.

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Lavatory Waterfall

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Thumbing a Lift.