Quirky Communicators T-Shirts

Message on an arrow with a 'P.S.'

"Why don't you ever talk back to me?"

'We can mail these thank you cards now that I've forged your name.'

'Hmmm... right, Wednesday, I've got 10:00 available...' - '...or I could reschedule my submissive at 11:00... yeah...' - 'Yeah... it's fine... no... he'll take it like a good little worm... ha, ha... okay... bye!'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'Did you know that your lips move when you text?'

~ S.O.S.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Modern romance'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'