Quirky Communication Quirkists T-Shirts

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I speak Latin, you know."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'Modern romance'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

~ S.O.S.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."