Quirky Therapy Seekers Gifts

"Why don't I have a psychiatrist's couch? Funny, my psychiatrist asked me the same thing."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Pet a Puppy

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'I hate all holidays!'

Turmoil change.

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'You have a fauxbia.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

'I'd like to help you, but I never leave the office.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"