Quirky Storytelling Aficionado Pillows

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Jacques et Jille

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

My Spam Sketchbook

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Fishing.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"The usual."

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."