Quirky Story Enthusiast Pillows

'I know you've been sleeping with my conjoined twin brother, now where is he hiding?'

Homeless! My Gingerbread House Was Eatern By Birds And The Insurance Won't Cover It.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

The Family Joules: Part 5

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Fishing.

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

'A book very interesting'

Hog Futures

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Centaur falls in love.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"