Quirky Story Enthusiast Pillows

'I know you've been sleeping with my conjoined twin brother, now where is he hiding?'

Homeless! My Gingerbread House Was Eatern By Birds And The Insurance Won't Cover It.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Fishing.

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

'A book very interesting'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Hog Futures

Centaur falls in love.

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

'-but the fire's on the GROUND floor!'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"