Quirky Storytelling Admirer Pillows

Big Bob knew it was wrong, but gosh darn it, someone had to stick up for the little guy.

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

How I met your mother

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Fishing.

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"Come in, minion."

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'A book very interesting'

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

Hog Futures

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Centaur falls in love.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'