Quirky Shaver Pillows

Footballer uses the ref's foam to shave.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Best before 65 million BC.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Victorian Gentleman

Pest Control

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'I just had this sudden urge to stand out in a crowd...'.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Man feeding fish banks with money, not food.

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Tortoise polishing his shell

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

"I beg to differ."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Kid goes to Hideaway Bakery and sees a sign for a sale on upside down cakes. Cakes are upside down.

The Mattress Savings Bank

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

'Group hug anyone?'

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

I always feel so short when you wear heels.

"We're all loonies on the moon, you know."

DIY pedicure

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

Bobo's Barber Shop