Quirky Seniors Gifts

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

'Didn't anyone tell you this is an old people's home?'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

A moment with retired entomologist, Norman 'the torch' Walthrop.

"Show-off!"

At the Old Bikers' Home

The Next Product For Boomers: Designer Adult Diapers.

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

'Let's do something in bad taste.'

"The wild walker"

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

'There's no ice so I dropped my teeth in it.'

"...and make sure you get food with plenty of preservatives in it"

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

Senior Pick-Up Lines

Lift chair fun!

Pensioner being chased up stair lift by pensioners.

'Didn't you check our blog post, mildred? We're not a knitting circle anymore. We're a neighborhood militia.'

"Welcome to my third annual Senior Soak-A-Palooza!"

Gun-toting granny.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Most people mellow with age. So what's your problem? -Baldwood. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. I'll handle this one. She has mellowed. You

''No, sir, adult living doesn't mean X-rated."