Quirky Scriptwriter Pillows

The backstroke. That's my line. Maybe you should come to rehearsal once in a while.

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"Don't editorialize."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Mensa Does Improv

Hollywood producer.

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Actor practising his indian war crys

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"Dad, why do they tell actors to "break a leg?""

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

Hollywood producer.

How I met your mother

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

'Hang on a minute...'

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!