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'Well, you're carrying out all the correct procedures and your equipment is top-notch. I just can't figure out why your lab has such a high level of contaminants.'

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Pavlov's Cat

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

Just what is it that amoebas really want.

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"To return to normal height professor, we simply: 1. Switch on The Nano-Ray. 2. Find the Plug; 3. Insert it..."

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

'I'm afraid our worst suspicions have been confirmed - we found slug, snail and a trace amount of puppydog tail.'

"Please, George...not here!"

Early Scientific Fraud: Young Thomas Edison Tried to Pass off a Container Filled with Fireflies as an Incandescent Bulb.

'I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!'

Agricultural Failures: Hydroponic Livestock.

Biocafeteraologist

"I don't know whether we should keep it a secret or call the world press!?"

Bird flu parody of Monty Python's 'Dead parrot sketch'.

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

Specialized regions in a couple of human chromosomes.

"I heard you may be looking for an assistant in cell growth!"

The Habits of the Night Moth