Quirky Restaurant Seeker T-Shirts

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

Sushi Train Spotters

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Give him his food."

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Fast Food Restaurant

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

Our Troubled Chowders

Food inspection results

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Salad Hat

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."