Quirky Restaurant Goer Gifts

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Pet-A-Manger

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

Food inspection results

Fast Food Restaurant

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Our Troubled Chowders

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"Dinner looks delicious."

Salad Hat

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

Sorry, that's probably one of mine.

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

Road Kill Cafe.