Quirky Restaurant Goer Prints

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

Pet-A-Manger

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'The customer is always right...'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

Sushi Train Spotters

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

Food inspection results

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Fast Food Restaurant

Our Troubled Chowders

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'

"Dinner looks delicious."

Salad Hat

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

"I'll have the chef."