Quirky Pet Parents Gifts

"Meet my first dog. I've named him 'Security Question.'"

'...and don't ever get near his nose. You never know where that thing's been!'

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'This way I keep the law and don't get grossed out.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Where's your nose?"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'I've got it written down...'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

"It's only the wind."

'Monster mobiles.'

Dog fetches dice

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

"I'll explain later."

'They go on a lot of picnics.'