Quirky Message Collector Pillows

'What in hell kind of a men's room is this?'

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

First and last day as census taker...

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"U R like so ded!"

Evolution...the modern-brush fox.

'We're going broke, Larry. Let's just go back to calling it happy hour.'

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

Loose seal

Funky Facts: A Baby Koala is called?

Listenin' in

"...while 86 million prefer grilled cheese, and 57.4 million of them like mustard on it."

'Go away. I'm not buying any of your junk.'

Deer Crossing With Attitude

The last will and testement...

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

A guide to ancient instruments.

Crumhorn

Umpire School Taking A Ball Four.

Prepare to meet they doom! Free updates & online newsletter @ preparetomeettheydoom.com.

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.

Octopus-bagpipes

Gone out your dinner's in the dog.

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

Banana peel warning sign with slipped and wrecked cars.

No halo, no wings, no service.

Cautions: Bored Doctors Working Overhead