Message Collector Pillows

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

The birth of junk mail.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'Here's the junk mail.'

First and last day as census taker...

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'Say, you've been working out!' A Weiner dog bites mail carrier on the butt.

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.

'Stamp auction' WW2 Victory stamps on two fingers

You are going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger...bringing your post.

'To you, fifty quid - c'mon guv, it's HANDMADE!'

'Whoa! A classic case of mailbox catalog overload blowout!'

Antiques dealer and customer