Insincere Message Collector Pillows

"I need a card that's heavy on caring but light on commitment."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Pigeon Memos

On a mountain top a sign says - Out to lunch back a week from Tuesday.

"U R like so ded!"

'We're going broke, Larry. Let's just go back to calling it happy hour.'

'No you do a great job. I'm letting you go because I don't like your cell phone ringtone.'

Deer Crossing With Attitude

Loose seal

Listenin' in

'We've been offered NATO membership.'

Right Lane Must Hit Tree

Auction Rooms 'Gone to lunch' sign.

'What in hell kind of a men's room is this?'

'Excuse me, Miss, but I believe that we've met previously.'

Prepare to meet they doom! Free updates & online newsletter @ preparetomeettheydoom.com.

"My wife doesn't understand you."

Umpire School Taking A Ball Four.

Walk/Don't Walk/Laugh

Banana peel warning sign with slipped and wrecked cars.

"Apparently, nobody thinks my 'coughing' ringtone is funny."

"Disgraceful! A message in a bottle -- in a PLASTIC bottle, if you please!"

Wonky Traffic Sign

Caution Slippery When Wet

'No message - Just a - whatever this is....'

Cautions: Bored Doctors Working Overhead

No halo, no wings, no service.

'Click! I'm out right now.'

Nothing to be taken from this window until 10 a.m.

Beware of Dog?

Laughter at Zebra Crossing.