Quirky Living Promoters Pillows

'Of course I'm having my five a day - Sex, drugs, rock and roll and the match'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"That's our new church mascot."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

Pest Control

Floss Street Vendor

Tortoise polishing his shell

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

Boss has 'will you marry me, Ingrid?' sign and says, 'Fax this until you get a yes.'

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

"Let me show you my latest D.I.Y. project."

Doomsday marketing

Bird in sunglasses balancing on a stick.

'Very cool. What else can it do?'

"We have raccoons."

"Flood plain or not - it's buggered up the Green Belt status!"

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

'Slow and hurl.'

'A role model? Yes, I suppose he was. Everywhere he went, people would say 'That's Bill Fenton... You don't want to be that guy!''

Van Gogh's glasses fall off again.

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'Your drink, madam. Courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.'

Where bee's wax really comes from.