Quirky Language Lovers Gifts

Things You Say Wher You Are Officially Old - Volume # 1

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Campaign for Plain English

"I love you, you big fool."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

Shell Fire

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

'They speak fish!'

'I see an applicant being hired!'

"I'm keeping 'up' distance... there's a reason they are called DROPlets."

"I find it disturbing when you breathe through your nose."

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

What Do You Do When You're Caring For Someone with Alzheimer's?

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

Spell-Check Bee

"Sprechen ze MOO MOO?"

'My people have 253 words for snow, but only three for sub-prime mortgage.'

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'Oh, no, not another spelling bee!'

Scrabble for dyslectics

'Too-Wit-Woola-Bool-Kerla-Bam-Boo!'