Quirky Kitchen Experimenter T-Shirts

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Fly Swat Strainer.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Lockdown casserole

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

Tzatzikicicle

Cheese Secret

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Boys Cooking

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

The First Roast Chicken.

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

She found baking helped enormously.

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

ABsurd semi-automatic breakfast maker