Quirky Kitchen Experimenter T-Shirts

'Do you find the roast to have a faint 'woody' taste?' 'Could be, I couldn't find the carving knife so I used my band saw... cuts like butter.'

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

Fly Swat Strainer.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

Lockdown casserole

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

Tzatzikicicle

Cheese Secret

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Boys Cooking

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

Knowing that a typical carrot cake is loaded with fat and calories, Doris whipped up her on, much healthier recipe from scratch.

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

The First Roast Chicken.

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"