Quirky Kitchen Commanders T-Shirts

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Murderous Chef

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

No fly zone

"Okay, I get the message."

'In spite of all our communication gadgets, the fridge is still the undisputed information center of our household.'

"That's funny. . . that's usually his favorite meal!"

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

"General Tso and his chicken"

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

'Got any changing rooms to try this one on?'

Baldo suggests getting a frying pan for his tia and she hits him in the head with it.

"My wife prefers the kitchen to herself while she's cooking..."

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

Home Economics with an Attitude...

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

Statue of a housewife.

"Out of my way, Marge. It's Science Time!"