Kitchen Commandos T-Shirts

'Ok Grandma...Are we ready to make those brownies we talked about?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Cook and Octopus

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'LOOK RENOLDSON, i've had JUST about enough of your moaning and groaning! IF you can't stand the heat, GET out of the oven!' / A chef scolding his apprentice inside an oven.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

No fly zone

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"Okay, I get the message."

"Is this the table with a complaint?"

'In spite of all our communication gadgets, the fridge is still the undisputed information center of our household.'

'Darling, whip me something up in the kitchen.'

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

"This Bounty is useless against the Quicker Messer Maker."

"General Tso and his chicken"

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... develop a clear plastic wrap that doesn't bunch up!?

Pizza Fencing

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."