Culinary Commander T-Shirts

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"General Tso and his chicken"

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Garden.

Too much cilantro

Holiday Supplies

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Please don't kill me."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Culinary surgery.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The perfect man

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'