Culinary Master T-Shirts

'I think this calls for gas masks.'

'My Dad's got a black belt for cooking!'

Ainsley Harriott: "..Then add the nuts!"

"I'm gonna throw this in her direction...just to give her a little scare!"

"What are you cooking for Thanksgiving, Tia Carmen?"

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

'It's all homemade.'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

Quartet of chefs.

Al Dante

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Old Spice